URU Action News 1.18
Bahro Wars: Episode 6: A New Light (06/26/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz
Investigator: TheWriterX
Advice Columnist: Page Linkletter
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CATE ALEXANDER UNVEILS NEW RESENG UNIFORMS
In an effort to boost funding, Ms. Alexander unveiled the new ResEng uniforms
as her first action on the DRC council. In what has been described as putting
a NASCAR outfit to shame, the new ResEng uniform is certainly...colorful, but
the sandwich board planks might make it difficult to maneuver. In related news,
"A Beginner's Bevin" has been renamed to "The Geek Squad Answer Bevin",
orientations are now brought to you by Wal-Mart, and ResEngs must incorporate
ad slogans into all their answers. Apparently my ki can take a lickin' and keep
on tickin' and Er'cana has been kid tested and mother approved.
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SHARPER V. BAHRO
By TheWriterX
Douglas Sharper shocked explorers Monday evening, when he announced that the
DRC had given him permission to go Bahro hunting in Noloben. Sharper was aghast
by the public outcry against this, but stuck to his guns saying that he'd hunt
down the Bahro for, allegedly, killing Wheely Engberg. Screah, Bahro liaison to
the news, cried out in Bahronesse, "Tell the old man to bring it. Just bring
it." With this recent turn of events, and stakes so high, one thing is certain,
ticket sales and illegal betting on the fight will be through the roof.
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FANNING THE FLAMES
By Page Linkletter
Revenge (ri-venj) To exact punishment on behalf of another or an opportunity to
retaliate or gain satisfaction. It was common practice for the Hatfield and
McCoys of yesteryear and in fact, the first death of that feud happened in a
cave as well. However, if you read on about the warring clans, you will see
that revenge did not solve their problems. But I'm not here to tell you about
history, nay, I'm here to discuss the BAHRO INFESTATION! They are a nuisance
and must be dealt with accordingly! Everyone grab yer guns and let's show 'em
what we're made of! This one's for Wheely!
And Rosette!
And Phil! This one's for Phil too!
Last edited by MikeFitz on Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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