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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:53 pm 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Cho > Marrim / 071409 / 008

To The Community Manager:
I do believe the 20 oz. granitas already supplied by Mister Anderson not only suffice, but surpass any insulting attempt at milkshake-making provided by the Community Department.

The Whiteboard Monitor (with explicit permission by The Legal Department, The Intern Corral, The Tech Department, The Receptionist, The Penguin Department, and The Electronic Dog Department)

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan. Any and all remaining disclaimers have been clarified in great and prodigious detail by The Legal Advisor.

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quahog42 | theclam | lazugod


Last edited by quahog42 on Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:29 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:56 pm 
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Posts: 138
Location: Rochester, NY
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Spock > Egg Salad / 071409 / 009

To all Staff:

Due to the large number of people requesting print-outs of our new legalese document, all paper within the building has been used, on both sides. Please remind the interns to remain calm as they are unable to print their 'pics' off facebook as well as the inability to print out their un-motivational posters and lolcatz to hang in their death cubicles. The intern corral was purchased for a reason, please make valuable use of it.

I'm a hot fudge sundae, The Receptionist

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan, and cannot be printed out. Stop asking me. I am not your office slave! (see: intern corral)

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MO:UL KI Number: 6138333

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 10:09 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 5:21 pm
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Location: Garland, TX - New 09/2014 KI # 60406 Moula
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 10:28 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 1:14 pm
Posts: 2598
Location: Israel
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Atrus > The Stranger / 071409 / 010

Try moving the slider to select a different signal.

Atrus.

Note to Catherine: Catherine,

I've left for you a message of utmost importance in our fore-chamber beside the dock. Enter the number of marker switc...

Wait, wrong note.

WHAT KIND OF FOOL AM I?!??!?!

This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan. No animals were harmed in the production of this message (well, except Bahros. No one cares about them).

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:33 pm 
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Location: Rochester, NY
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Spock > Egg Salad / 071409 / 011

Due to me going out to lunch, another fan broke in through the window and pretended to be Atrus again. I don't care if my absence at the front desk means anyone can come in here and be Atrus, I am not reducing to only an hour for lunch, and I am not changing my computer password from "Password." That's that. Also, expect the paper shipment to arrive tomorrow, along with some news from the courier and a new leash for RAWA.

I'm the hero to your sub, The Receptionist

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan, and is anxiously awaiting RAWA's new leash so we can tie him to the post out back again and let him do his business OUTSIDE.

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MO:UL KI Number: 6138333

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
This IS my signature...


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:55 pm 
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Posts: 152
Official Cyan Internal Memo: D'nied Eggs > Granita / 071409 / 12

To All Staff:

As you all know, Cyan strives to be highly secretive in all of its endeavors. This may seem at odds with the recent stipulation that all memos be publicized. Specifically, the terms/titles/names/codewords/age descriptions/nicknames "Atrus", "Catherine", and "bahro", which recently appeared in a rather strange memo, are classified and should not have yet been released to the public. The Management has asked me to Regret The Error, and indeed this regretting will be started once the proper forms are complete.

In the meantime, a full list of classified terms/titles/names/codewords/age descriptions/nicknames will be posted on the official Cyan conference room whiteboard. Please remember to not use any of these terms/titles/names/codewords/age descriptions/nicknames in your daily memo use. For your convenience, they are repeated here:

[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
Wohbanobongu
Myst Online: [REDACTED] [REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
Portyl
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
Rubbergut
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
Latus
Headspin
[REDACTED]
Is It [REDACTED] Yet?

The Whiteboard Monitor

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not intended to be taken orally. Take two and see Tinselman in the morning.

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Last edited by quahog42 on Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:01 am 
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 1:44 am
Posts: 1282
Location: Orlando
OFFICIAL CYAN REQUEST:

We know that the fanbase is excited about the return of Uru! So are we! Sort of. I mean, it's not like it's consumed close to ten years of our lives or anything... but I digress. The point is, no matter how excited you are, there are all sorts of social and legal boundaries being crossed by accessing our facilities without permission, either physically or electronically. Even though we now have to rebuild everything from the past two weeks just in case of information leaks, we don't mind, because you're the best fans in the world!

Note: Official Cyan Update is not actually provided by Cyan. Any and all references to people either living or dead is entirely coincidental. Just kidding.

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The Age Linker's Guide
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:14 am 
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Location: Orlando
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Egg Salad / 071409 / 013
(Additional Note: Memo requested to be blocked from the transparency effort for security purposes)

To The Receptionist:

This is why we need to install security cameras in the entrance area! This sort of thing is why we lost so much time going from DIRT to MUDPIE to Uru in the first place! If you'd just switch to the waffle iron password system like the rest of us, no one would be able to access your computer without a daily examination of the five domes around campus! While I'm aware of your acute knowledge of Jeet Kune Do, that doesn't protect things very well when you're not actually around.

While we at the office can see that the message was crudely scrawled in a handful of Red Robin napkins, it's not nearly as obvious when viewing the digital records. Less ketchup stains, easier to read, and it just ends up looking like Rand went on another bender. Do you REMEMBER early 2004? Krispy Kreme and Big Mac containers everywhere!

The Community Manager and Rand Health Advisor

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan, and in fact will not blend. Memo smoke. Don't breathe this!

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:23 am 
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Posts: 138
Location: Rochester, NY
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Spock > Achenar / 071409 / 014

To Community Manager: Stop trying to get the cameras installed. I know you have access to them, creep. If you actually knew anything about Jeet Kune Do, you'd know that I don't have to be here for its effect to take action. The only problem being, technology interferes with it. As for 2004, if you bring it up one more time, you're paying for the psychotherapy sessions I have to go through myself, as well as schedule for Rand.

To Tech Guy:
I realize that you stay up all night playing World of Warcraft (insulting and blasphemous!) But this is no reason to bring your drool covered pillow to sleep on while at work while we all have to sit around smelling that putrid scent of a pillow case. And please, tomorrow... remember to wear pants.

Wishing you were here, The Receptionist

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan, but was instead brought to you by a starving pack of humans who were raised by wolves. They do great same-day shipping!

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MO:UL KI Number: 6138333

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
This IS my signature...


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:47 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:12 am
Posts: 123
Location: Renaissance Italy circa 1480
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Catherine > Cho / 071409 / 015

I realize that I was out most of the day today due to some "important" business I had to take "care" of, but that does not give you the "right" to continually re-hash our "legal" statements! The "Interns" and I will now have to "remain" here all night looking through the "archives" trying to find what our original "statement" was because "you" keep rewriting it! I would advise you to "stop" or the "consequences" could be "dire!" (Remember the "FOOD FIGHT" we had last "week?" Did you not get "enough?!")

The Head of the Legal Dept. and Giant Elephant.

The views expressed in the above Memo do not reflect the views of "Cyan", this "user", the terminal they are "on", or "anything" in general. ©MXMCVCXIII All Rights Reserved. Any reproduction of this Memo is completely legal and will not be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:09 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2007 6:14 pm
Posts: 4250
Location: Digging around in the dusty archives, uncovering Uru history.
Well, this was fun - for a day. Have you learned nothing from Cyan about pacing your announcements? :wink:

(Really enjoyed it. It was fun. I kept checking back all day long.)

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:51 pm 
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Posts: 1282
Location: Orlando
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Cho / 071509 / 016

To The Staff:

First off, I'd like to thank The Tech for having dealt with my networking problems during the night, as well as providing me with PERFECTLY LEGAL updates to all of my creative software. He's also done an incredible job of implementing the new "Lag" slider into the network code for Uru. As of now, The Administration can change the levels of lag in all future open source Uru servers from our central location as deemed fit.

More urgently, the community has taken the comments of one desperate fan to heart and started a new initiative to whine even harder on the forums. At this rate, there might be a good ten or twenty fans who squeal like a pig in heat until the source code is release. Normally this would have been a mild inconvenience to those on staff who actually check the forums occasionally, but since they've gone out of their way to "organize" it into a single location, The Tech has agreed to make that particular thread invisible to all "blue" accounts.

In response to yesterday's events, someone in The Administration has converted the 1.4 million MontanaBucks into 4.6 million RandCash. That's 3.6 million higher than before, so we've clearly made a profit today! Feel free to order additional donut and hotdog supplies for the weekly cookout.

The Community Manager and soon to be Lunch Eater

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan, and does not actively encourage or discourage the use of loud whining as an incentive process. Anyone who reads that deeply into it will be promptly be missing and presumed fed.

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:10 pm 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Linden / 071509 / 016

To The Tech Guy:

Could you please not vandalize all the office whiteboards? Or at least stagger the vandalism, make it episodic? Coming in this morning and seeing "INSTALLSHIELD SUCKS" written over every important plan and diagram put to whiteboard was very depressing. And you know, doing the research to correct any such destructive alterations takes time away from helping The Testing Group draw a map of [REDACTED], and that takes time away from The Testing Group being able to find bugs. Now, I could go around blaming The Testing Group for not visiting the [REDACTED] in Mechanical first, or I could point some blame at The Management for asking for impossibly complex mazes. But at the end of the (very sad) day, your vandalism has created so much Fallout3 that I can't let you use any of the whiteboards for a month.

Even worse,[size=0]http://smkviper.livejournal.com/2005/09/02/[/size] now The Receptionist wants to ban us from playing WoW and watching anime in the planetarium room! Something about not improving the morale of The Staff. She might lighten up, though, if you help her print up those posters for that one project, Revenge of The [REDACTED].

The Whiteboard Monitor

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo skips around in a circle with a pocketful of rose wheels, katydids and victorious almond calyxes. Buy fifty mangoes, and we'll ink up a deal for the naked fruit! Offer expires February 4th.

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quahog42 | theclam | lazugod


Last edited by quahog42 on Wed Sep 09, 2009 5:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:15 pm 
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Location: Rochester, NY
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Spock > Cho / 071509 / 017

To the Whiteboard Manager:

Due to the need of whiteboard space upon the announcement of timed WoW and planetarium time, and the lack of actual labeling of "DO NOT ERASE" upon the "DO NOT ERASE" whiteboard memo... I have erased said memo because you annoy me, and I will not lighten up to all of you if he helps me with Revenge of the [REDACTED]. However because he did help me, he will be receiving 25% more WoW and Planetarium time. Make use of your own advice and help me out more. I also erased it because I needed room for the following announcement (which I'm sure you won't erase due to the proper labeling)

To All Staff:

It has come to my attention that the Planetarium and internet services are being used for the wrong work related things. While I refuse to ban these things completely (withdrawal would be horrible), I have made a hand-crafted spreadsheet of time slots available to make use of these opportunities. Each employee is allowed five (5) 20 minute time slots throughout the day. Lunch does not count. I'm sure we'll all be rational about this situation and not devolve the company into a pack of rabies infested RAWAs. In other news, the new RAWA leash is here! Please, do not feed the RAWA. This is why we hire trained handlers, or interns.

Greetings from the front desk, The Receptionist

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan and is not to be confused with cottage cheese.

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Jeff Lewis - MO:ULagain KI Number: 35155

MO:UL KI Number: 6138333

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
This IS my signature...


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:43 am 
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 1:44 am
Posts: 1282
Location: Orlando
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Cho / 071509 / 018

To The Staff:

After a thorough search of the premises, The Intern appears to be missing. There are various interns currently on lockdown in the corral, but no sign of The Intern, if anyone knows where he is, please let him know that a full form set must be provided to The Staff before taking a day of absence and that he will have the honor of tasting my latest CAT5 of nine tails.

Additionally, the latest proof for The Book of Marrim still hasn't arrived on my desk, and I'd appreciate it if The Receptionist would stop flirting with members of The Staff long enough to find out the status of that parcel.

The Community Manager and Bookless Bibliophile

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, side effects may include a negative remark on your report, followed by death.

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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