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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:51 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 1:20 am
Posts: 926
Location: Lone Star State, URU Texas
Official Cyan Internal Memo: 71509.845

To: White Board Manager
White Board Monitor
Community Manager
Legal Advisor
Staff
Receptionist
Tech Guy
CC: Readers
BC : Head Donut Supplier CEO

Subject: Squeaky Clean Code

As night shift Janitor, It was ok for a while playing hockey with dried up donuts and cleaning up all the rough draft papers, discarded game ideas that missed the file 13 but I am out of squeaky clean for cleaning all the white boards. So since I found the rewritten code copy in a rarely used cubical where the ex employee worked, it will remain hidden in my cleaning closet office until I get left over pizza instead of donuts and I miss the good left over coffee the receptionist made every morning.
This message will self destruct at 12:09 cavern time.

Sincerely,
Little known night shift janitor/ex programmer/ probably unemployed now

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:06 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:12 am
Posts: 123
Location: Renaissance Italy circa 1480
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Catherine > The Staff / 071609 / 019 - *69

To whom it may concern,

It has been brought to my attention that after my last memo, some among the staff have resorted to calling me silly names. I just wanted to say Thanks! I had begun to think that after years spent in the dungeon of the "Legal" Dept. I had grown dull. Also, I have noticed a strange "Book" has appeared upon my desk titled the Book of Martin ... Maren... something like that. I would appreciate it if this book would quickly “remove” itself from my desk. It is giving me strange looks.

The Head of the Legal Dept. and Bibliophobe.

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not affiliated with Cyan, its constituents, employees, their families, pets, homes, schools, churches, non-profit organizations, carbon based life-forms, or lawn gnomes. It is however affiliated with Bobby the Hobo whom, scientists have just discovered, is made entirely of Tungsten.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:49 pm 
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Posts: 138
Location: Rochester, NY
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Spock > Catherine / 071609 / 020

To the Head of the Legal Dept.

The book you are referring to is The Book of Marrim. Please deliver it to the Community Manager ASAP. As for you community manager, we all know you're hiding the intern for yourself. Please redeliver him to the head of the legal Dept. I hope for this trade to be completed at high noon tomorrow, or we will have to hold a duel.

To the Tech Guy:

Who left their computer on with access to the night Janitor again?! Before it turns to night and he awakens from his lair, go into the janitorial closet and get that code back, thanks! I'll be sure to leave him his leftover coffee, but we'll have to discuss further the pizza deal. As for the [REDACTED] we need to [REDACTED] with more redaction and with less [REDACTED]. After writing this I realize that our 100% transparency policy with our continuing redaction clauses that last phrase won't make much sense, so I've taken the liberty of attaching a picture of an adorable kitten.

[REDACTED Picture]

Isn't it just darling?!

I'm more adorable than the kitten, The Receptionist

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, and was made in an undisclosed location somewhere under the Pacific Ocean.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:25 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 1:44 am
Posts: 1282
Location: Orlando
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Catherine / 071609 / 021

To The Staff:

We have a janitor? Holy crap, I thought we just had a live in Ghostbuster, what with him having that big backpack with the hoses coming out of it! Either way, he does a good job of keeping the place clean and spook-free, and I'm pretty sure he's got his own computer too. I think I should alert him that some of the things I've seen in the downstairs bathroom lately border on "Paranormal Occurrence" however, so maybe my original guess wasn't too far off.

To The Head of the Legal Dept:

Wait, we have a legal department?! I know we have The Legal Advisor, but if there's a whole department of you guys, no wonder funding has been draining so quickly! I tried to come pick up the book proof earlier, but can't seem to find your desk anywhere in the main building, and yelling "Legal Guy! Legal Guy!" only resulted in angry glares from The Receptionist. Sometimes I wish we could rehire The Secretary, she was much friendlier.

The Community Manager and All Around Awesome Guy

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, and has been formatted to fit your screen. Widescreen film is available on opposite side.

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It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 7:58 pm 
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Location: Rochester, NY
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Spock > Katran / 071609 / 022

To the Community Manager and all around loser:

HOW DARE YOU MENTION HER! I sense a cubical reorganizing chart being developed.. and there's just not enough room on any floor, except the downstairs hallway, outside the bathroom. Y'know, the one the tech guy goes to after taco lunch, which is every lunch, because he likes tacos. And the one that seems to be haunted by...something...

..Oh, you'll pay, The Lovely and far better Receptionist (Who is not a secretary, and cannot be compared to the secretary without doom falling upon said mentioner.)


Note: This official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, and was sealed with a kiss.

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MO:UL KI Number: 6138333

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:19 pm 
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Posts: 152
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Bones > Spock / 071609 / 023

To The Most Important Receptionist:

Were you aware that The Secretary has been talking about you behind your back? Can you believe it? Slandering you in The Cyan Chat late on Friday nights. I mean, nobody can have enough stuffed animals. Fifteen plush [REDACTED] is nothing to be ashamed of!

Speaking of which, are The Staff allowed to use The Cyan Chat now? Surely it's been long enough since The Noodle Incident, and RAWA does have that new leash. I think we should be allowed to Chat. If these memos are public, why not everything else, right? And it would be nice if we could defend your Receptionisty honor in an officially blue manner. Not, um, not that I nor anyone from The Staff have been illicitly sneaking a Chat in here or there...

To The Community Manager:[size=0]http://twitter.com/smapty/status/2505487393[/size]

The Secretary isn't as nice as you remember. They, uh, may or may not have been calling you fat and claiming you stole whole boxes of pizza from most of the pizza parties in the past. Overweight is a matter of Perception, anyways. We all still think you look handsome. Especially with short hair. :)

And everyone knows The Intern Corral stole those pizzas anyways.

The Humble Whiteboard Monitor


Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, for sufficiently small values of magenta. It is, however, possible to express μ and a in terms of q and of a new parameter σ, and the results are very well adapted for purposes of commencer with primero farbe pareil..." from Quanta: Exploring the Mysteries of the Multidimensional Universe (Sam Clemens and Sir Winston)

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:48 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 1:20 am
Posts: 926
Location: Lone Star State, URU Texas
Official Cyan Internal Closet Memo: 071906.724

To: Staff
Readers
and any that it may concern,

Subject: Code
Since I have not gotten any squeaky clean, nor pizza last night and even the donuts disappeared, the secretary left me a post a note with a nickle saying go to the vending machine and buy a coffee and keep the change, so the code was put into a that book you are talking about and it linked away to my new age closet, but you failed to look at that book closely as some of the pages ( noteably red and blue ones) are torn out and spread across old ages. Only I and one other individual knows its location and the Bahro won't talk. Night shift is really fun as seeing the new programs on the computers that are still on is very very interesting. My lips are sealed until it is more yet or my friend the Community manager says other wise.

Sincerely,
Little Known night shift janitor/ ex programmer/ still cleaning cause I am good!

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was written on recycled linking book paper, in reading this you agree to hold me harmless if you lose your present location and end up in a different age location and enjoy your self.

Ps: I have been to the basement and will not step foot in there again as King Kadish is there along with others and is not on my cleaning instructions as other duties as assigned.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 1:30 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:12 am
Posts: 123
Location: Renaissance Italy circa 1480
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Catherine > Katran / 071609 / 024 - S.O.S

To The Community Manager

Did you make it down to the Sub-Sub Basement and say the magic words? If you don't you will not be able to find us. We had a spell of invisibility put on the whole Dept. so it would help with the overall morale of the rest of the staff. If you happen to find the intern, they should be able to help. As for the book, I finally got the courage to touch it this afternoon and it tried to BITE me!! I really need help. . . It's winking at me now. . .

The Head of the Legal Dept and Bibliohostage.

Please note, this Memo is not from Cyan, but from the 12th Dimesion. Come on down to Phil's Occult Book Shoppe! We have all sorts of magical tomes that may assist you. . . or not.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:29 am 
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 9:29 pm
Posts: 210
Location: Kent, UK
Dear Cyan Worlds,

RE: MILEY CYRUS AND THE SCRIPT "URU: THE DEEP CITY".

Thank you very much for submitting this very interesting property for consideration by Ms. Cyrus. Unfortunately Ms. Cyrus is under exclusive contract to Disney Pictures for the next 25 years and will therefore not be able to read for the part. However, I have read the script myself and found it both engaging and original. If this is any indication of the quality of his work, I am sure that Douglas Sharper has a bight future as a screenwriter.

Because I was so enamoured of the script, I took the liberty of passing it on to Jim Broadwattle at Disney Pictures (I hope you don't mind), who read it and is also very enthusiastic. Jim has just contacted me and informed me that, although Disney is not interested in developing the property at this time, they would like to talk to Rand Miller ASAP about another project.

Disney is interested in financing a new version of Myst Online featuring familiar Disney characters and new Ages based on locations from popular Disney films. He is also quite keen on the idea a virtual Disneyland type theme park on the island of Ae'gura and perhaps elsewhere in D'ni. Possible attraction names he mentioned were "Skyway to Kerath Arch", "Bahro Mountain" and my personal favourite, "The Great Bungee Shaft Plunge".

Jim was insistent though, that if Disney were to be involved, Cyan would have to forget about all this silly "open source" stuff and join the real world. I quote: "Open Source is for losers. Who ever heard of free software? It's just a private club for neck beards with no girlfriends."

Please get back to me ASAP so that I can arrange meeting between Jim and Rand.

Yours sincerely,

Tom Topper
Top Teen Talent Inc.

P.S. If this project were to go ahead, Miley might be available to do the voice of Yeesha. Just sayin'.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:12 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 1:44 am
Posts: 1282
Location: Orlando
OFFICIAL CYAN UPDATE:

We apologize for the inconvenience associated with the current website and forum performance issues. As everyone on the Myst Online mailing list knows, we started alpha testing for Uru 2 a few weeks ago, and have recently pushed the very first build of Uru 3 to testing as well so we could check the backwards compatibility. As it turns out, we should have listened to The Tech and gotten dedicated servers for these projects, rather than trying to save money by putting them both on the same box as the website.

Just remember, every time you get a pageload error, someone is linking to an new age. Or at least this week's reskinning of The Watcher's Sanctuary/The Great Tree Pub/The Receptionist's Lair/Whatever we're calling it this week. Also, I'd like to remind all testers that the new NDAs are all-inclusive, and if you're found discussing anything up to and including the new [REDACTED] chat system which you received from the dispenser in Gahreesen, you will be deported.

Note: Official Cyan Update is not actually provided by Cyan. All threats of deportation are meant jokingly, our preferred punishment continues to be defenestration.

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:00 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 1:44 am
Posts: 1282
Location: Orlando
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Cho / 071609 / 026

To The Staff:

There is a distinct lack of work being done today. In fact, there's a distinct lack of employees! Did everyone get fired but me? Or is it annual ditch day and everyone forgot to tell me, again?

The Community Manager and Lonely Worker

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, or the key color Black. It was brought to you by the letter "F", the number "9", and viewers like you!

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:15 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 1:20 am
Posts: 926
Location: Lone Star State, URU Texas
Unofficial Cyan Internal Memo: > 071809.515

To: Who ever is visiting,

It is the weekend, No Cyan employees are present, just me. Of course I am on one of their computers someone forgot to turn off. I am the janitor and must have the place squeaky clean by Monday but alas they forgot to buy squeaky clean and I am having to make due with Teledahn swamp water and the floppers do a good job towards the ceiling..

Have a good Weekend.
The night shift janitor.

Note: This Official unofficial Internal Memo is brought to you by an Bevin imager.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:27 pm 
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Obduction Backer

Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 1:44 am
Posts: 1282
Location: Orlando
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Sirrus / 071609 / 028

To The Janitor:

Oh God, it's Saturday? When did that happen?! And you're working through Saturday? Screw this... give me some time to save my work, then how about we go get you some Squeaky Clean and have a few drinks and some bacon fried hot dogs? First round is on me if you'll agree to let me use your backpack vacuum for a few minutes on Monday morning.

The Community Manager and BaconDog Afficionado

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, but was helped along by *music starts* tequila!

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 12:37 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2008 1:54 am
Posts: 116
Location: Somewhere in the Cavern - again!
Internal Staff Memo> Occupational Health and Safety Officer to All Staff

Uh, Hello. This is the Occupational Health and Safety Office here (sometimes also know as the Cone Monitor). Did you guys know that it is against occupational health and safety regulations to work in the office on the weekend without prior approval from me? Hey, I have your best interests at heart here - we don't want anyone to get hurt, especially after all those hassles we've had in the Cavern over the years. So please, go home and enjoy your weekend and follow these simple safety tips to make sure you get home in one piece:

1. Please don't operate your Ki whilst driving unless you are lucky enough to own a blue tooth hands free model
2. Please watch out for that puddle of water at the bottom of the stairs (star note - must have a word with the janitor)
3. Please ensure that your computer is switched off and that all cables are tucked out of the way
4. Please, whatever you do, don't eat any of the cakes/muffins/burgers that have been left lying about in the kitchen. Ick, some of them have mold on them.
5. Please relinquish all hope that you will be allowed to keep a pony at work.

Yours in safety

The Cone Monitor

Disclaimer: This safety announcement has not been brought to you by anyone from Cyan. However, it is available as a downloadable screen saver for folk who really care about safety. :)

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:45 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 1:44 am
Posts: 1282
Location: Orlando
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Cho / 072009 / 030

To The Staff:

Someone wearing a pelican mask came into the office today, grabbed a handful of design sketches and documents from one of the artist's desk, and proceded to shove the whole mass into his pants and make obscene motions. He then quickly scrawled "URU" onto the soiled stack with a sharpie and dumped it all into a fax machine, sending it to parts unknown. The only reason he pulled it off was because everyone around was too shocked and confused to do anything other than assume it was Rand having a bad day.

Because of this, let's make an effort to watch for references to the mangled mess that this unknown pelican put online and discourage people from supporting such vandalism. What a mean person/people.

The Community Manager and Generally Annoyed Person

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, but was written in a state of annoyed disgust. Uru is a series of tubes, not a big truck! You can't just dump stuff on it!

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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