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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:35 pm 
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Location: Renaissance Italy circa 1480
Official Cyan Internal Memo: The Uknown > The Staff/ 072109 / 031

To The Staff:

I'm tired of being ignored! Everyone walks around like I don't exist! Well I'm sick of it! I'll make sure that I get noticed: I'll hold pieces of code for ransom! I'll steal design sketches! Squeaky Clean! Anything! Just say hello to me the next time you pass me in the hall!! AKNOWLEDGE MEEEE!!!!!

Respectfully yours,
He who is not important enough to even have a title.

Note: This Memo does not originate from Cyan. It was intercepted by our intelligence operatives and the whereabouts of the author are currently being discovered. And now, without further ado, I shall TAKE YOUR MIND!! Bwoooweeeoooweeeooo. . . It's the helmets. They're aluminum, right? Yeah, that doesn't work with what I do.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 3:22 am 
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 1:44 am
Posts: 1282
Location: Orlando
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Cho / 072109 / 032

To The Tech:

Replacing my connection settings with NetZero dial-up is not funny. Nor is throttling said dial-up to 28k. Please get this fixed IMMEDIATELY.

The Community Manager and Unstable Internet User

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, and was in fact barely typed out because even accessing the forums on a dial-up connection is surprisingly frustrating.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 4:13 pm 
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Funny stuff! :lol:

FWIW: I speculated in this post about the identity of the mysterious unnamed ex-Cyan developer and why only he could make the code modifications. Like all other speculations, take it with a grain of salt (and a swig of tequila, and a slice of lime).

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:24 pm 
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Location: Orlando
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Cho / 072909 / 033

To The Staff:

It's good to see that everyone has been making a tremendous effort to keep our transparency up while I was on vacation! Really! I can see that The Staff has worked hard on keeping the fans constant need for supervision and hand-holding under control!

While I was visiting with the folks over at Sunsoft, they sent some design documents with me to pass along regarding "Myst for the iPhone - Stereoscopic 3D Edition". Please take a close look at them and discuss the feasibility of this product. I know that most people don't own two iPhones or iPods, but the team over at Sunsoft believe that this will spur sales of secondary devices in the same way the original Myst helped ramp sales of CD-Rom drives.

Also, it was very courteous of The Secretary to make sure my lunch orders were delivered to my desk while I was gone. It was very pleasant returning to a stack of rotting uneaten cartons of food! Thank you for keeping things in order in my absence!

The Community Manager and Leaky Lunch Box Mopper Upper

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, and was written after two days of little sleep and a near constant loop of the Civilization IV theme.

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 5:59 pm 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Supybot > Portmeirion / 090809 / 034

To The Techs:

As you know, useable whiteboard space has become increasingly limited in the last couple months. The Art Department, in particular, has been pining for space to add additional balustrades to the Guild Hall Schematic. Yahvo knows it needs more balustrades. Even worse, the tally of Bodger-connection-days is nearing the edge of the third-floor board, raising concerns of a Badger Overflow.

Therefore I beg you to make a prompt decision regarding battle. The programmatic concepts of combat which adorn The Technical Department's whiteboard cover too much acreage; choosing between the two reigning concepts will cut that space in half, freeing up substantial and well-needed drawing surface. Now,[size=0]http://twitter.com/thenakedfruit/followers[/size] it doesn't matter to me whether you decide upon the Mortal Wombat mechanism or the Solely SecondLife-Style (*sips Smirnoff*) Server Side Sword Simulation System. It's not my department, and I personally don't care. But it is vital you choose one by the end of the week.

If your department fails to do this, there Will Be Consequences.

The Whiteboard Manager

PS: No, rationing whiteboard care is not socialism; and no, implemented rules of combat are not killing Uru. Guns are.

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo has been moved to SL, OL, Havoc, Orange Box, the Doom engine, LoN, CoLA, Toxia, Plazma, ScummVM,[size=0]http://clone2727.blogspot.com/[/size]and Mohawk.

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Last edited by quahog42 on Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 1:51 pm 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Cho / 102509 / 035

To The Staff:

The "fans" are getting whiny again, issuing ultimatums and demanding that we stop trying to make money and go back to giving free handouts.

Anyone want to cover this one? I'm still trying to recover from the last group of "fans" that tried to take over the building.

The Community Manager and Bruce Willis-esque Building Defender

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, and if taken seriously will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your report, followed by death.

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 1:06 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 08, 2006 1:57 am
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To: Cyan Management

From: Spokane Animal Control Office

Re: Official Cyan Internal Memo: Supybot > Portmeirion / 090809 / 034

Gentlemen: There seems to be a great influx of badgers into the Spokane area. Our trained operatives have traced this incursion to an origin somewhere near or within your building. While we have no particular objection to an overrun of badgers, some of the neighbors are complaining. Could you please look into this and see if there's some kind of leak on your property?

Thank you.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:11 pm 
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Location: In the Cleft
Those Badgers look a LOT like Bahro.

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(Photo of Cyan HQ courtesy of MtnMan, Bahro Courtesy of itself )

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:13 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2006 8:53 pm
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Location: Rochester, NY
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Spock > Cho / 102709 /036

To Staff:

Has no one realized that the secretary has had me tied up in the d'ni vault (closet) for the past three months?! I only recently escaped when I befriended the badger population and they helped me chew my way out! I couldn't scream any louder! Oh, and, please ignore the bite marks on all the Riven props. I got hungry after a few weeks...

Love, the Receptionist, who really needs a shower.

Note: This Official Cyan Internal memo was not provided by Cyan and must be taken with food. Do not eat grapefruits.

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MO:UL KI Number: 6138333

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:17 pm 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Cho / 102709 / 038

To The Secretary:

Honestly, I'd just assumed you were slacking off at your desk this whole time. Business as usual, you know?

The Community Manager and Instigator

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, and if taken orally will leave a bitter aftertaste.

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:49 am 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Milton> / 091337 / 042-a

Subject: Office Space.

I told Rand that if I move my desk one more time I'm quitin'. I used to be in the riven building and they moved me, three times already this year! And if they do it outta here. I used to have my own code too and when they made me move back here they made me give back my code. And, Rand told me I'm supposed to have code so, until I'm told different I'm just gonna take the code. And if they make me give it back then, I'll... I'll set the building on fire.

Note: The author of this note doesn't originate from Cyan. They just play one on TV.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:40 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 05, 2008 8:49 pm
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Location: Colorado, USA
Official Cyan Internal Memo: General Staff <360 / 556 / 442 / 420>

Subject: MystOnline Forums

Please do not attempt to placate the fans in the online forums. We are close to completing our conversion to utilize the energy from the rumblings in the online community for the office and servers. Our kW budget (kiloWhynes) will not be met if the forum quiets down. If we don't meet that budget, given our financial situation we may have to fall back to the hamster wheel on the back patio, and you remember how popular being assigned to that job was among the staff.

Now if only the modelling team had not insisted on 3D imagers on every desk we might have already brought the servers back online... :idea:

Facilities and IT Operations

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo does not reflect the current position of Cyan. With the GZ out of operation we do not know our position.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:02 am 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Cho > Catherine / 110909 / 039

To The Secretary:

Am I hearing this right? Rumor around the mobile pizza truck is that not only has The Former Community Manager been shipped off to Florida, but RAWA has been let out[size=0]http://www.themeit.com/thea_12annual/magiqst.pdf[/size]of his electric cage? And that RAWA is now galloping throughout The Office wearing The Community Manager's Hat? I'm not sure whether to be perturbed or devioushly anticipatory; it's almost unbelievable!

Is this true? Should we be breaking out the nerf guns yet? Is it RAWA yet?

The Whiteboard Monitor

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan, unless you count being hosted on the only official forum for Cyan's current product, in which case, yes, it was. On the other hand, you could also say that This Official Cyan Internal Memo was provided by Firefox or Chrome or Opera or (Yahvo help us) Internet Explorer, and also by The Respective Owners of that series of tubes that constitutes The Internet. So take this note with a grain of salt.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 3:06 pm 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Narf > Zort / |>|-|33R |\/|y 1337 s|<!11z! / 082

An update about what's going on in the Modeling department:

In defense against the remark the IT staff made about our 3d imagers: those are tools, not toys, as their comment suggested. The imagers, although a large investment, will increase productivity and allow us to create more photorealistic environments while marveling at how awesome our models look. And, they're so darn good looking on our desks. We've had to buy our own department whiteboard* from the local thrift shop, because there were too many DON'T ERASE notes on the other one, preventing us from diagramming a Catmull-Rom spline for the interns. We've all had to sell our office chairs to make up for a budget deficit (except for Vince, who never had one). Could someone do something about this badger problem?!? Their burrows are collapsing the dirt floor of our office.


The Modeling Department Head

*This whiteboard may not be used anyone outside of the Modeling department. No artwork on the whiteboard should be erased without permission from the artist who created it. All whiteboard artwork should be signed. Depictions of Chickens, Christopher Walken, and semi-automatic weapons are not allowed on the whiteboard. Failure to comply with these rules will result with the offending party (the party of the first part) being giving a vigorous Dutch-rub; to be administered
by the party of the second part, Rand or RAWA.


Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo was not provided by Cyan. Do not eat sushi while reading. Resistance is futile. Actual colors may vary.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:02 pm 
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Location: Southern California
I'm hoping someone can respond to the rumor Santa will replacing his reindeer with Bahro this year, and the lead Bahro will light the way using a fire marble. Thanks in advance.


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