URU Action News Archive

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:23 pm

At the request of a dear cavern reader, I am putting up an archive of all the URU Action Newsletters.

For those of you that do not know (and that would probably be most of you :roll:

) I was the editor-in-chief of a little "underground" newsletter, which was completely in-game. Written and delivered solely through the ki system. At first I had "criers" who would run around and force a copy of the news on anyone we could find, and later I developed a ki subscription service.

I thought URU needed an in-game resource for news of events and activities ...
and I had a deep seeded need to distort that news in my own crazy way. :lol:

I deeply and humbly thank:
Legendary, for cajoling me to start this thing.
TheWriterX, (a.k.a. Chloe) for exercising my conspiracy theory genes.
Page Linkletter (a.k.a. Mr. Cloak) for his unique point of view and for pushing me to keep going.
And for every one of our readers that made it all worthwhile.

(I always thought dedications were corny ...
I was right)

And now, on with the news ...
(in all of its original ki formatted goodness).

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:24 pm

URU Action News 1.1

Amazing First Issue (02/24/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz
Cost: Always Free

==========

SIT-IN STAGED AT CITY MUSEUM

Today, anxious citizens of URU formed a sit-in around the still unopened city
museum, in hopes to garner the attention of city officials. Recently the
museum doors were opened, but the DRC's impenetrable barriers have been placed
in front of the doorway. Sit-in protesters are hoping to get the DRC to remove
these barriers once and for all, so that the museum can once again be enjoyed.
Specific members of this action group could not be reached for comment, as they
were all afk.

==========

SPRUCE TREE RELTO PAGE STILL MISSING

The Relto page for creating additional trees, formerly found in the Kadish
Tolesa Age, is still missing. Citizens are reminded to just pick up the page,
copy it and then return it. It is the hope of the DRC and citizens at large
that the perpetrator will come to his or her senses and return the page.

==========

STILL NO OFFICIAL WORD ON LAST YEAR'S BAHRO SCREAM

Citizens were shocked at the events that unfolded at December's DRC Town Hall
meeting, which was interrupted by an ear-splitting Bahro scream, and then
prematurely ended by a massive forced Relto linking. Dr. Kodama seemed to have
an early indication of the event but still, after two months, no official
explanation has been given.

==========

This issue was brought to you in part by the new KI 2.0. Stop by the Great
Zero Observatory and upgrade your KI today, and find out what makes the zero so
great.

If you enjoyed this newsletter, feel free to share it, unchanged.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:24 pm

URU Action News 1.2

URU's Only "Underground" Newspaper (02/27/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
Cost: Always Free

==========

URU MEN CAN'T DANCE

After Friday night's rave at D'ni Party's Bevin, women around the city were
heard to exclaim that URU men just can not dance. An anonymous female citizen
stated, "Us ladies are out there, gettin' our groove on, and those fellas are
just standin' there clappin'. It is sad!" She then appeared sorta bummed.
URU citizens, male and female alike, look to the DRC to help give our men a
little pep to their step, hopefully in time for the next "Up on the Roof!"
party.

==========

DRC RELEASES PSAs

The DRC reminds all citizens to make safety their number one concern while
exploring the ages. To that end, Shizenvi, along with several doctors of the
DRC and their hapless interns, have release six Public Safety Announcements on
youtube.com. See what the DRC is doing for you and your safety.

==========

UO HEEK TOURNEY EXTENDED

Halvor of the URU Obsession's Bevin graciously announced Monday that round 1 of
the UO ahyoheek tournament has been extended for one more day, at some point
later this week (TBD). Please stop by the UO Bevin or PM for scheduling. And
remember, in heek, its not about who wins or looses; its about who wins three
times with the same color.

==========

This issue brought to you in part by Teledahn-brand Mushroom Caps (TM).
Shroomie says, "They're Fan-Tastic!"

Got something to report? Got an article? Contact URU Action News and feel
free to share.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:25 pm

URU Action News 1.3

Yes! We Have a Clock (03/03/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
Cost: Always Free
===
DR. KODAMA VISITS SIL_OH_WET'S BEVIN AGAIN

Last Tue 2/27, the DRC's most enigmatic leader, Dr. Kodama returned to
sil_oh_wet's Bevin; presumably to follow up on Yeesha's appearance there on
2/21. But are there alterior motives to Dr. Kodama's attentions of a more
romanitc nature? Both sil and the doctor were unavailable for comment on this
latest turn of events.
===
DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH SERENIA AGE DETERIORATE

Mother Superior Anya, one of the oldest members of the Protectors of Serenia,
issued a statement which effectively shut down relations between URU and her
age, indefinitely. "Doctor, I studied with Yeesha, I knew Yeesha, Yeesha was a
friend of mine, the explorers of URU are not Yeesha!" Reactions in the city
were mixed; as one citizen put it, "Sure I'm hurt, but it's not like we can
storm their age. We have no weapons, and only a few of us even have helmets.
What are we supposed to do, tickle them into submission with feathers?"
Spirits are hopeful that one day talks will continue.
===
"GREET A GREETER" WITH KON'DOR

Our first "Greet a Greeter" segment brings us face-to-face with the GoG's late
night avian, Kon'Dor. Shorah...

Q1: So, Kon'Dor how long have you been exploring the ages? And what's your
favorite?
A1: I first entered the age of Myst right at the beginning, in the late 80's.
My favorite age would be Riven; you have the feel of always being watched. /lol
Q2: /yes ... What is the most frequently asked question you hear?
A2: Can you tell me the answer to <X> ... I'm stuck.
Q3: Of course! ... How about the strangest?
A3: What's your real name and email address?
Q4: Woah, I hope you didn't give him your SSN too. ;-)

You greet for two hours
a night, almost every night. What brings you back?
A4: Well, I enjoy it ... I get to meet many of the same people and it is nice
to make friends.
Q5: Excellent. What ONE thing do you want our readers to know?
A5: That Greeters, such as myself, are paying customers just like they are. We
love the game and want them to love it too.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:26 pm

URU Action News 1.4

URU's only source for Action News (03/07/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
Cost: Always Free
==========
BUGS PLAGUING THE AGES

You've seen infestations of them in Eder Kemo & Gira, Negilahn and maybe even
your Relto; one or two, here and there, in the Bevins and Kadish Tolesa. Some
have even reported seeing them in their Dreams. Of course, I'm referring to
fireflies, bug scourge of the ages! ResEngs have been sent throughout infected
areas with insect repellent, but if you see any bugs please report them to the
DRC before they get a chance to swarm. Go one step further and help the DRC
make URU a healthy and safe place to live and breathe.
==========
SHARPER RETURNS

Douglas Sharper has returned to D'ni and is talking with the DRC. So far, he
has stayed out of the public eye, because the first citizen who saw him tried
incessantly to steal his hat. Fortunately, there are strong indications that
he may soon re-emerge from hiding.
==========
PETA "LIBERATES" ANIMALS FROM NEGILAHN

It turns out that the perplexing lack of animals in Negilahn is in fact due to
the political eco-activist organization PETA. In a dangerous and foolish raid,
PETA cracked through pod 18's nara shell and linked out many of the animals
before being attacked and devoured by a pack of starpin shal. The DRC hopes
that the various indigenous species will re-migrate to the area soon.
==========
DR. KODAMA FILES GRIEVANCES AGAINST THE URU ACTION NEWS

Yesterday, Dr. Kodama approached Ragdrazi of the Guild of Outcasts to complain
against last issue's alleged defamation of character. In a mediation brokered
by the guild, the URU Action News retracts any allegations of romantic
entanglements, and agrees to stop harassing Dr. Kodama for an exclusive
interview. URU is large enough for us all to peacefully co-exist.
==========
This issue was brought to you in part by Salty Kish's Quab Shack. You won't
kick us to the curb.

And, as always, feel free to share.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:26 pm

URU Action News 1.5

Erin Go Braugh (03/17/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
Cost: Always Free

==========

THREE CHEERS TO SUPERGRAM AND THE PARADE COMMITTEE

Today's 3rd Annual D'ni St. Patrick's Parade and Party was a smashing success.
With Rand Miller as the Grand Marshal and aide GreyDragon in the lead, the
parade caused both joy and lag throughout the caverns. There was much dancing
and cheering, and this reporter is certain that pictures of green revelers will
flood the DPWR.net's Golden KI Photography Competition. Grand Marshal Rand was
observed to be extremely excited, using many exclamation points. And as a
special bonus, for today only, the water in all of the Bevin fountains have
been replaced with green beer.

==========

EXPLORERS UPSET CRUSADERS GAINING FINAL FOUR SEAT

Last night, the URU Explorers executed a picture perfect upset victory over the
Warcraft Crusaders, 94 to 88. This puts the Explorers into the final four
against either the City of Heroes' Superstars or the Lord of the Rings' Elf
Smashers, to be determined later tonight. Let's hope the strategy of
linking-in above the net will continue to work against super-powers and/or
wizard magic.

==========

ZANDI'S CAMPER STOLEN

In a related story, shortly after the Explorer's upset victory; over zealous
celebrators broke into Zandi's camper and drove it away for a joy ride. City
officials are understandably upset, exclaiming "Another one?!" But they are
sure that the Zamboni will be returned eventually, once the perpetrators get
tired or run off the edge of the planet.

==========

This issue was brought to you in part by Genius Urubrau, the only on-tap
libation served at the Ae'gura Pub. Please enjoy safely.

Got a tip or an article to share? Send it to MikeFitz at KI-ID:03081711
And, of course, feel free to share.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:27 pm

URU Action News 1.6

I Have 9 Feathers AND I'm Happy to See You (03/22/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz
===
EXPLORERS HOSPITALIZED AFTER ILL CONCEIVED DARE

Twin citizens, Bub'ha and Ru'fus Red'nex, were hospitalized today after daring
each other to eat the lunch that had been left on the DRC Rooftop for the last
four years. Although a similar situation 5000 years ago was responsible for
the discovery of cheese, this incident resulted in severe gastrointestinal
infections. Luckily, the brothers were saved by a passing explorer who quickly
contacted a ResEng using the wrench icon and in-game support.
===
DOUGLAS SHAPER'S TEAM DISCOVERS PETA REMAINS

Yesterday, Nick White, Rils and Mr. Sharper mounted a daring expedition into
the Negilahn frontier. One mile from the pod, the intrepid adventurers
discovered the remains of PETA activists responsible for linking out the animal
population. One member of the PETA team is still unaccounted for, but several
URU citizens have reported seeing his blood-shot eyes peering at them in the
pod's central window.
===
DON'T HAVE A FITZ
By: Mister Cloak

Do you find yourself doing things you wouldn't normally do? Have you thrown
yourself off of cliffs, just to see if this time the Relto book will fail?
Then you may be getting the Cavern Crazies. To combat this infectious disease,
try completing this list of fun activities: Go Relto mountain climbing. Create
a Bevin and host a party in it. Start your own Guild. Play music in the
streets. Discover the Path of Zandi and get others to follow it. Play Hide &
Seek. Help out a new explorer. Or attempt to decipher what the Bahro are
screaming about! And if you still want to pull your hair out in frustration;
take a step back, take a deep breath, and don't have a Fitz.

/me thinks he might take exception to that. /shrug
===
This issue was brought to you in part by D'ni Algae-Be-Gone. If your Bevin
fountain is looking more green than usual, or your visitors complain about
itchy feet after only a quick splash, then D'ni Algae-Be-Gone is for you.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:27 pm

URU Action News 1.7

Happy 1st Feast of the Maker (03/27/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
Cost: Always Free

==========

URU EXPLORERS SUFFER HEARTBREAKING DEFEAT IN FINALS

Spirits were high after coming off yet another win against the CoH Superstars,
only to be dashed by the questionable tactics of the Star Wars Galaxy's Sith
Lords in the finals. Through dark force powers and jedi mind tricks, the Lords
convinced the Explorers that they were scoring goal after goal, when in fact
they were shooting toward the wrong net. Even our beloved cheerleaders, the
Cone Kickers, were tricked into cheering for the Sith. It is a dark, dark day
indeed for all of Ae'gura.

==========

URO DIPS IN INTER-MMORG MARKET

More bad news, as the newly established Uro took a dip today in the IMMORG
financial market, siting a low &*^%# Am I coming through? &*^(# ...nalists
expect a quick turn around agains... #@$%^ Yeesha has a message for you. $%#$%
as there is a strong statistical correlation between archeology and financial
#$%#$ go to: http://marten.treeweasel.com/Uru/unwritten.html $#%#$ ..rters
maintain that there is attainable profit, if D'ni technological advances can be
adopted to life on the surface world.

==========

BAHRO PROVIDE GIFT TO URU CITIZENS

On a happier note, diplomatic relations with the Bahro appear to be going well,
as throughout the Bevins, Bahro representatives have provided liking stones as
a gesture of good will. In a rare opportunity, I was able to interview the
Bahro who presented the stone to the URU Action News Bevin. When asked about
the Bahro's general attitude toward URU's citizens, the delegate stated,
"Screeeeaaaaahhhhhhh." Let's hope those encouraging words of wisdom will carry
us all into a bright and positive future together.

==========

Got a tip or an article to share? Send it to MikeFitz at KI-ID:03081711.
And, feel free to share.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:27 pm

URU Action News 1.8

The ResEngs Read the UA News; Shouldn't You? (04/02/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
===
URU ACTION NEWS' EDITOR-IN-CHIEF VOTED GRAND POOBAH

Today, by a unanimous vote of all Messenger Guilds represented at the Assembly
of Guilds website, http://uruguilds.jconserv.net, our beloved Editor-in-Chief
was elected for the highest guild position, Grand Poobah. As his first
benevolent act, MikeFitz decreed that all typed and voiced messages, within and
outside the cavern, are indeed considered messages, and thus fall under the
purview of the Messenger Guilds. As such, all communications must now be
ratified by the guild at their bi-monthly meetings before being sent to their
intended targets. Shortly after this ruling, our Editor-in-Chief defied the
guild, stating that this newspaper would never submit to such outrageous
demands.
===
IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR U.S. CITIZENS AND RESIDENTS
By: Sharaya

This is just a reminder that April 17th is fast approaching. If any U.S.
citizens or residents have taken any gold from the Kadish Vault, you are
required to file a 1099-D'ni along with your regular income tax forms. Further
information can be found on the IRS website.
===
BAHRO BAFFLED BY DLF'S ATTEMPTS AT COMMUNICATION

Last Saturday, the D'ni Linguistic Fellowship attempted to communicate with the
Bahro by forming the tablet symbol for rain using volunteers in their Bevin.
Afterwards, I met up with the newspaper's Bahro liaison, Screah, in
D'ni-Rudenna. He conveyed their utter mystification over this symbol usage, as
causing it to rain in a cavern miles beneath the surface of the Earth would not
only be difficult, but extremely foolhardy. He then muttered some derogatory
remarks regarding precipitation based erosion instigating cave-ins, the highly
vaunted and apparently ostensible intelligence of the URU community, and the
possible need for a guild of geologists.
===
Got a tip or an article to share? Send it to MikeFitz at KI-ID:03081711.
And, feel free to share.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:28 pm

URU Action News 1.9

Monte71 Subscribes to the UA News, Shouldn't You? (04/10/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
Cost: Always Free
===
ANNOUNCEMENT

The URU Action News begins a long awaited subscription service. To subscribe,
or (/me gasps) unsubscribe, please send a ki-mail to MikeFitz @ KI-ID:03081711,
with your NAME, KI-ID, and ACTION. Also let me know if you want back issues.
Of course, we will still hand deliver in Ae'gura and a Bevin near you.
===
BAHRO STONE MYSTERY (PART 1)
By: Tai'lahr

Like most, shortly after a picture of a Bahro with what appears to be a ResEng
was passed around, a Bahro arrived at our Revelations Bevin to give us a
linking stone. And when the DRC's Nick White showed up with a Delin book for
our Bevin as well, we were overjoyed at our bounty. But shortly thereafter our
new Bahro Stone vanished. A similar "theft" occurred at the ThinkSpiral Bevin
after Nick's Delin delivery. On two separate occasions Nick denied anything to
do with the disappearances. In desperation, we posted the Bahro friendship
symbol on our imager and the next day the stone returned, along with a curious
visitor. For a day, every time someone linked into our hood, a Bahro linked in
to look around. The DRC and ResEngs were notified so that they could meet the
Bahro we nicknamed mammary gland[s], but strangely he stopped appearing... (to be cont.)
===
MY MUSINGS ON THIS BAHRO MYSTERY

Nick White shows up and the Bahro Stone vanishes ... seems apparent to this
reporter that the Bahro must simply despise Nick. I am not sure if this is due
to his snake-like, womanizing ways, or if it is his devotion to translating the
words of the wretched D'ni slavers. Yet, whenever Mr. White is even mentioned
in passing to the URU Action News' Bahro liaison, Screah, he screams loudly and
links away.
===
This issue was brought to you in part by Krazy Kadish's "D'ni Dollar Days" at
the Ae'gura City Tent. Mountain climbing gear! Port-a-potties! Twinkies!
Firefly repellent! You need 'em! We got 'em! Hurry! Our prices are insane!

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:28 pm

URU Action News 1.10

Hello and welcome to "The Daily Show" of New D'ni (04/14/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
===
MYSS TERRIE'S BEVIN TEAM TAKES FIRST PRIZE IN DELIN DOOR CONTEST

With only 3 practices under their belt, the plucky team from Myss Terrie's
Bevin took 1st place in the inaugural Eder Delin Door Opening Contest today,
with an official time of 2 minutes exactly. The team admitted to a couple of
minor glitches game day, as their best practice time was 1:20. But all
accredited their success to their coach Eniad Corlet's skill and coordination.
Three cheers to Doorman: Eniad, Cloth Masters: Pituka, SeanMc74, Richard
Wakefield, lilmouse, LittleWing, Atheni33 & Illuvatar; And Official Spectators:
Mutley, Ana, Rose, Littlecoo, Markarius, Odd, Nehaled, Andrew Yosso, sengel,
Doobes, GMary, darkstar & acbizgirl (incidental). A thanks to all participants
and a special congratulations to Sudre and all of the other Judges from Amber
Horizons's Bevin for hosting such a spectacular event. It was a shining
example of how we can all interact in shorah.
===
D'NI GOD YAHVO EXCITED ABOUT LATEST TRANSLATIONS

In an exclusive divine interview, the D'ni God, Yahvo, admitted to being
painfully devoid of worshippers since the great poisoning of D'ni over 450
years ago. But now, Yahvo is overjoyed that His message is once again being
read by someone other than Esher. Certainly He hopes that Nick White's
translations from the Book of Oorpah, may sprout belief in Him once more.
However, what really made this God shine was His expectation of future
translations from EVOO, the Book of R'ray; a lesser known, but far cuter
prophet than Oorpah, who ended every 30 minute psalm with "Yahvo ... D'lish".
===
This issue was brought to you in part by the Cyan Man Group, known for their
theatrical shows, concerts and Pen'ti'm 4 commercials. Coming soon to the
Ae'gura Concert Hall. Tickets on sale thru KiMaster.
===
To subscribe, or unsubscribe, please send a ki-mail to MikeFitz @
KI-ID:03081711, with your NAME and KI-ID.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:28 pm

URU Action News 1.11

From the Rooftop of the URU Action News Bevin (04/17/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
Investigative Reporter: TheWriterX Cost: Always Free
===
ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM

Unfortunately, in a bizarre yet sadly typical turn of events, today the
Editor-in-Chief (EiC) of the URU Action News (UAN), MikeFitz, established the
Anti-URU Action News Movement (AUM). He based this controversial decision
solely on the advice of Monte71, who stated that the acronym is excellent for
chanting. Aaaauuuuummmmmm! Yet, shortly thereafter, in an unprecedented show
of solidarity, both the UAN and the AUM issued a joint statement against Three
Letter Acronyms (TLA) and for better communications with the DRC ... at ANY
COST!
===
D'NI CALLING
(to the tune of "London Calling" by "The Clash")

D'ni calling to the faraway hoods
Now war is declared - with forum falsehoods
D'ni calling to the underworld
Come out of the ages, ya boys and girls
D'ni calling, now don't look to us
Phoney controversies have bitten the dust
D'ni calling, see we ain't got no swing
'Cept for the rings on that trench pit thing

Chorus:
Disaster is coming, the ground's quaking in
Gahreesen's stop turning, the twinkies' running thin
A server vault error, but I have no fear
Cause D'ni is burning and I ... I live in my Relto.

Now get this...
D'ni calling, yes, I was there, too
An' what the ADM said? Well, some of it was true!
D'ni calling, do we need all this bile?
And after all this, won't you give me a smile?
D'ni calling

I never felt so much alike, like-a, like-a...
===
This issue was brought to you in part by kiTunes. Download all the great URU
filk and podcasts like The Cavern Today (TCT) directly to your kiPod with
kiTunes today. Note: The URU Action News is not affiliated with (and in fact
does not endorse) its rival news organization, The Cavern Today nor its
subsidiary broadcast TCT Extra. Pbbbbbhttt!
===
To subscribe, or (/me gasps) unsubscribe, please send a ki-mail to MikeFitz @
KI-ID:03081711, with your NAME, KI-ID, and ACTION.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:28 pm

URU Action News 1.12

60125 1004 -67 (04/23/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
Investigator: TheWriterX Advice Columnist: Page Linkletter
===
DRC INSISTS TOTSNOT IS SAFE

Like many of you, I left my first encounter with Totsnot, dripping with goo,
worried about catching a cold and wondering what compelled the DRC to spew
this mass upon our collective faces. I caught up with ResEng M.Ucus, who was
chiefly responsible for releasing Totsnot. He insisted that "[Totsnot] is a
little damp, but draining nicely." He added, "Listen, I was a little queasy
when I first had to clean up Tot-
snot; but as an adult, its your job. You just do the the best you can and move
on."
===
PAKU-PAKU-PAKU

Blue lines and white dots everywhere can mean only one thing, Pac-Man Fever has
taken over the citizens of URU. Laxman has kick started the GZ and the game is
on! Get out there to eat those marker dots and watch out for Inky, the cyan
ghost. Now where are my power pills? Somewhere over water, if my ki is to be
believed. And where is the tunnel to the other side of the city?
===
CORRECTION

The new age is Tetsonot, not Totsnot. We are deeply sorry for any confusion
this error may have caused.
===
CAVERN CONCERNS WITH PAGE LINKLETTER

Hello Explorers. I have joined forces with the UAN to assuage your cavern
concerns. With the release of Tetsonot, a lot of anxiety has been unearthed,
not the least of which being, achluphobia, the fear of darkness. So, to
overcome this fear, just tell yourself that you are not alone ... unless your
fear is anthropophobia, the fear of people or society, in which case you should
remind yourself that you are actually in a small pod ... Of course, if you
suffer from claustrophobia, then you should remind yourself that the pod is not
a small closet, otherwise you would see racks of clothes and boxes of useless
junk. For now, avoid the valut. On my next issue, zikaphobia, fear of being
stuck in a pod.
===
Got a tip, article or want to subscribe? Please send a ki-mail to MikeFitz @
KI-ID:03081711.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:29 pm

URU Action News 1.13

Hooray! Hooray! It's the 1st of May (05/01/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
Investigator: TheWriterX Advice Columnist: Page Linkletter
===
FIRST OF MAY DECLARED DAY OF DARKNESS

Protest it old school with The Great Tree Movement! The Great Tree is
protesting the lack of communication with the DRC by wearing all black today.
Support the peaceful protest by going to your Relto wardrobe and putting on all
black clothes. In a show of solidarity the ADM has decided to wear pink.
===
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS VID?
By: TheWriterX

"We're out of time! We have to get out now! Help me or shoot me, but decide
now!" With those words, the explorer Vid, resident of the Uru Obsession Hood,
led his fellow neighbors on a panicked run, from their hood, to Gahreesen, to a
balcony high above the UO hood before leaping off the balcony, and vanishing
somewhere on the way down. Witnesses reported no sound of a link, or a portal,
only that Vid mysteriously vanished from sight and from their kis. An
investigation into Vid's website and blog led to very little, only to an open
webcam showing his ransacked room, and a map, with the Great Shaft clearly
circled on it. A ResEng was quoted as saying that neither the DRC nor the
ResEng's have any knowledge of what became of Vid, nor who was after him. As
speculation and rumor began to flow through the cavern and its hoods, startling
questions remain. "What would drive a seemingly ordinary to take such a
bizarre leap?" "Who was after him?" "And why are we out of time?". With
little to go on, explorers have begun their own investigations, asking anyone
with knowledge of Vid's current whereabouts, or information pertaining to his
odd disappearance contact a member of the UO hood.
===
Sorry for the "real news" this issue. I won't let it happen that often.
===
This issue was brought to you in part by Cone Kickers Anonymous. Do you go out
of the way to kick cones? Do you cone-pile anyone afk? Do you make patterns
in your Bevin? We're CKA and we can help you kick your habit for good.

MikeFitz · **Posted:** Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:29 pm

URU Action News 1.14

Leave that scab alone, or it will scar! (05/07/07)
Editor-in-Chief: MikeFitz City Reporter: Legendary
Investigator: TheWriterX Advice Columnist: Page Linkletter
Cost: Always Free
==========
STRIKE THREE FOR NICK WHITE
By: TheWriterX

You're out of here! That was the call from Cate Alexander. Sighting
violations of probation and trust, Cate fired Nick on May 3rd. Screah, the
bahro liason to the URU Action News, cried out what roughly translates to,
"Good, maybe they can hire a translator that will be able to fully appreciate
and understand our drawings." While no official word from the DRC has come
about Nick's replacement, an ADM member was quoted as saying, "It's ok, we'll
just recruit the next translator. ... I hope he's hot too."
- Shorah and remember, "You can't stop the truth"
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A VIRILE BUG HITS AE'GURA

All across the city, concern pours out for Vid. Messages of hope and well
wishes are sent. A wedding chappel Bevin has opened for business. Sunday the
20th is ResEng Appreciation Day. And now Sydney Austin and Cate Alexander are
Best Friends Forever! Clearly a "love" bug pandemic has struck and URU
citizens are showing all the tell-tale signs. So, if you find yourself
unexplainably blowing kisses or needing a moment to breathe, then don't panic
and call the hunky guys and alluring ladies of the Explorer Medical Group to
fix what ails you. /blowkiss /callme ... Oh no!
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This issue was brought to you in part by K-Dish Records. K-Dish proudly
presents "Songs of the Forums" with such hits as: "That's Not What I Said",
"(Don't Give Me That) Strawman", "Proof?", "Chat Log Blues" and that all-time
favorite "Godwin's Law". Buy this album today and you'll also get The Best of
D'ni Jazz Hits 3590-3615 at absolutely no charge. Buy your copy now!
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